tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2197051945822486684.post4022055789233135143..comments2024-03-29T18:17:34.956+11:00Comments on Thinking Out Aloud: Why narcissists rarely get betterLorenzohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00305933404442191098noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2197051945822486684.post-19869530322712288982010-09-26T08:28:36.893+10:002010-09-26T08:28:36.893+10:00Peter: we no longer associate. Even the interactio...Peter: we no longer associate. Even the interaction was at a distance (a letter and a couple of emails). Otherwise, your advice would be spot on.<br /><br />Intellectually, I can see you are right about him. Emotionally, there is too much hurt, largely because I still live with the consequences of the emotional breakdown he and his then girlfriend provoked.Lorenzohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00305933404442191098noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2197051945822486684.post-55079028269537831852010-09-25T22:47:28.988+10:002010-09-25T22:47:28.988+10:00While I think personality schemas are very worthwh...While I think personality schemas are very worthwhile, I am not at all persuaded by the results from the medicalization of these issues. I really bristle at psychiatrists treating people for "personality disorders".<br /><br />But all these people, and their behavior, and the hurt it causes are all very, very real.<br /><br />I don't know if many others have had similar experiences with age, but a few years ago I realized that I had become very aware of my manifolds "imperfections" as a person, but was OK with that. Not out of any selfishness, but because it had dawned on me that is what it means to be human.<br /><br />Lorenzo, the person you are describing above just makes me feel for them. The obviousness of <i>their</i> pain, which we can see, they can feel, but they oblivious to. It must be a very frightening existence.<br /><br />There are of course limits to being "OK" with one's self-identity as an imperfect person, and very comfortable with that. And that is, one must have standards, which are socially approved, of what imperfections are NOT OK. <br /><br /><br />It is not OK to be violent, to plot against your friends, to never hold your tongue so others can speak, to never remember your friends' birthdays, to trust a friend when they say they are in pain even if you think they sound silly or irrational, to think you don't have to pull your weight in your community, to think you 'have the right' to always broadcast your dissatisfaction with the group's choice of restaurant, movie, or holiday destination.<br /><br />The fact your friend has reached a stage of life where all those previous decades still have not been revealed to himself just says there is a time bomb waiting to explode.<br /><br />Lorenzo, for your own safety, bolt now! ;)Peter Pattonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2197051945822486684.post-19437031811851438282010-09-16T17:13:54.516+10:002010-09-16T17:13:54.516+10:00It is always reassuring to find one's words re...It is always reassuring to find one's words resonate: particularly on a subject that can have such fraught implications.Lorenzohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00305933404442191098noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2197051945822486684.post-29470818889122961642010-09-16T12:09:08.132+10:002010-09-16T12:09:08.132+10:00Lorenzo,
I can relate to the experiences in your ...Lorenzo,<br /><br />I can relate to the experiences in your first paragraph. Not knowing much about psychology I had trouble understanding it all when I took a step back and looked at the relationship as a whole, however your descriptions of narcissism certainly seems to fit quite well.Desipishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17875349442066752319noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2197051945822486684.post-67383807407210811082010-09-16T06:50:21.037+10:002010-09-16T06:50:21.037+10:00Reasons I tend not to trust pretty ,charming perso...Reasons I tend not to trust pretty ,charming persons (until proven otherwise). They are just more likely to be narcissists.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2197051945822486684.post-83915732045799841992010-09-13T19:21:23.064+10:002010-09-13T19:21:23.064+10:00I used to adore this guy who was probably a narcis...I used to adore this guy who was probably a narcissist. He was very pretty and charming too. I think narcissists can only really survive if they are pretty and charming. They move on to the next person once their friends/lovers become aware of the problem. But of course it's never their fault, it's everyone <i>else's</i> fault. Very frustrating.Legal Eaglehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01096038577529334966noreply@blogger.com